In San Diego County, 17,000 domestic violence incidents are reported to law enforcement every year, according to the San Diego Domestic Violence Council. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, here is some basic information to know:
What is domestic violence?
The term “domestic violence” is generally used to include a current or former spouse, domestic partner, girlfriend, boyfriend or someone with whom you have a child, a dating relationship or intimate relationship.
It is a cycle of violence that often only gets resolved through legal action and a family law attorney. Sometimes, in cases of repeated and/or consistent domestic violence, the victim believes they have no recourse and they will strike back and harm or perhaps kill the abuser. In many jurisdictions, a case will now go forward with charges by the prosecuting agency/family law lawyer even if the victim is unwilling to press charges. A victim may be subpoenaed to testify under oath whether or not they want to do it.
What should I do if I am in an abusive relationship?
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 and explain the situation. The police department will respond to your call. Additionally, a police officer can contact a judge any time of the day or night, and the judge can issue an emergency protective order (EPO) if there is an “immediate and present danger” for you and/or your children.
The EPO will prohibit the batterer from coming within a certain distance of you and your children. The EPO will remain in effect up to seven days, allowing you time to go to court to request a temporary restraining order, commonly called a TRO, and to contact a family law attorney if you choose to do so.
A restraining order is a protective court order making it unlawful for the individual served to have any type of contact, communication or surveillance of the protected parties named in the restraining order.
To get a protective order, you must file an application at your local family law court or with a lawyer, and there is no charge to file. You will need to present evidence to the judge such as photos of damaged property or personal injuries, police reports, medical records, threatening or excessive text or voicemail messages, declarations of witnesses or prior violations of restraining orders or TROs.
The restraining order goes into effect once the abuser is served with a copy of your court papers. You can request that a local law enforcement agency serve the court order free of charge. It may also be served by someone who is at least 18 years old and is not protected by the order.
The TRO lasts until your next court date, which is three or four weeks after the TRO went into effect. During that time, the person served with the temporary restraining order will have time to file a response with the court showing their side of the story and saying why they disagree with the terms of the restraining order.
They may also ask the judge to make other rulings concerning the case. When there are issues of child custody or visitation, the judge may order mediation prior to making permanent court orders. At that time, the judge will decide to continue, change or cancel the temporary restraining order. The final order could last for up to three years. Only a judge can change or cancel the order. If a party served with the TRO does not respond by filing an answer and does not show up at the restraining order hearing, the Court may issue a permanent restraining order, which may be the same conditions as the TRO or different. If different, the person being restrained must be served again, showing them the exact terms and conditions of the permanent order. Violating these terms may lead to an arrest.
Having a restraining order issued against you is serious and will alter your life. You may be ordered to move out of your house and stay away from the persons protected by the court order. Additionally, you could be ordered to follow certain child custody and visitation orders. You may be allowed to see your children only during a visitation supervised by a third party, or not at all. You could also be ordered to pay child or spousal support or other bills. You will not be allowed to purchase, possess or use any firearms.
If married or in a domestic partnership, the restraining order does not dissolve this relationship. These issues must be handled separately by a family law lawyer and in family court. Domestic violence batterers may be ordered to get help from court-approved intervention programs.
For more key issues and information about domestic violence and family law, visit the San Diego County Bar Association website.
This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to provide legal counsel or serve as legal advice. If you have a family law matter, it is best to consult the advice of an attorney. You can get referred to an attorney for a free 30 minute consultation through the San Diego County Bar’s Lawyer Referral & Information Service at www.sdcba.org/ineedalawyer or by calling 1 (800) 464-1529.