By Johanna Schiavoni
This is part of a two-part series in which I explore “The Power of Strategically Quitting Things” and “The Power of Intentionally Saying Yes to New Things”
Part I: The Power of Strategically Quitting Things
A question I get frequently is — how do you balance your law practice, volunteer commitments, time for your family and yourself, and stay sane?
My answer is that it’s not easy, and I have to work at not saying “yes” to things just to please others (which, at certain times in my life, I admittedly have done).
Instead, I’ve developed a decision-making process and strengthened my own confidence that helps me:
(1) say yes to the right things,
(2) say no to the things that aren’t a good fit for my time, and
(3) determine when is the right time to wind down or hand off existing commitments.
Have you thought about what you’d like to “quit”?
When I first joined the San Diego County Bar Association (SDCBA) Board of Directors in 2016, I felt over-committed in my volunteer activities. I also felt trapped in some of my commitments and had used the excuse that I was “too busy” to take the time to figure a way out.
But, as I was getting oriented to the SDCBA Board, I realized I wasn’t going to do myself or anyone else any good if I was running ragged.
My business coach asked me — “have you thought about what you’d most like to quit?” Not thinking of myself as a quitter, I was initially startled by the question. Then I realized that I hadn’t asked myself that kind of question recently, so I was continuing to do a bunch of things that I was ready to quit.
So, we developed a prioritization routine for evaluating what to say “yes” to and what to “quit.”
Here are the concrete steps I’ve developed and the conversations I have with myself and others in evaluating how to spend (and not spend) my time.
How I “quit” things, strategically and with heart
I start by making a list of all the commitments occupying my time. This includes everything from personal to professional and volunteer commitments. I include anything and everything that requires my time, energy, and presence.
The process of writing everything down helps me visualize just how many directions I am being pulled in. And, I can tell if I have too much on my plate based on the number of commitments.
Then, I honestly evaluate each commitment, and without judging myself, I determine which commitments I want to keep and which ones I’m ready to move on from.
The first time I did this — lo and behold — half of my list included things I was ready and willing to give up. Either I’d outgrown them, or I was ready to hand them off to someone else, or I just didn’t find joy in them any longer. I was carrying these commitments around because I hadn’t taken the time to admit it was time to “quit.”
When I have commitments I am ready to quit, I develop an exit plan — either through a simple conversation with someone about my need to step away, or by planning a more detailed process of recruiting a replacement and ensuring a smooth transition. I think through the steps and take action.
My results in 2016 when I started this process? Within six months, I had “quit” half of the items on my original list. I felt immediately lighter and had more time to focus on the things I wanted to “keep.”
It took me a while to develop the quitting habit and a process for saying “no” to new commitments. But, just as with exercising a muscle, I’ve built my strength over time. And, as I’ve “quit” or moved on from some previous commitments, I also made room for exciting new opportunities that wouldn’t have been possible before.
So, as we embark on a new year — I’ll pose the same question to you: have you thought about what you’d most like to quit? Give it a try.
Johanna Schiavoni (johanna.schiavoni@calapplaw.com) is a certified specialist in appellate law, and her practice at California Appellate Law Group LLP focuses on civil appeals in state and federal courts. She has been the principal brief-writer in over 80 appeals and has argued more than 30 cases. She also was the 2020 President of the San Diego County Bar Association and is the 2021 Board Chair of the San Diego County Regional Airport Authority.