By Johanna Schiavoni
This is part two of a two-part series in which I explore “The Power of Strategically Quitting Things” and “The Power of Intentionally Saying Yes to New Things”
Part II: The Power of Intentionally Saying Yes to New Things
In the first article in this series, I explored how to “strategically quit” things.
In addition to taking things off my plate, I wanted to be less reactive in saying “yes” to new commitments — and to develop more confidence to say “no.”
Here, I keyed in on a couple of essential questions that I ask myself each time a new opportunity arises. Try these out to see if they help you decide when to intentionally say “yes” to new opportunities.
Evaluating what to say “yes” or “no” to
As a rule, I don’t say yes to new commitments for 24 hours, so that I avoid reacting in the moment. This ranges from small things, like “can you co-host a friend’s baby shower,” to big things, like “will you join this Board of Directors?” Because I used to have a habit of reflexively says yes to things other people asked me to do, I had to embed this intentional 24-hour “pause” into my new way of thinking about saying “yes.”
In addition to the “24-hour rule,” I ask myself:
- Is there someone else who is better suited to do this?
- Do I want to do this?
- Does this serve my higher purpose? (For me, this is to find more time for reflection and to focus on my current commitments).
- How will this commitment impact my life?
I keep a Post-it note with those questions taped to my computer.
Answering these questions provides a consistent reminder to me to honestly evaluate a situation before saying “yes.” This process also empowers me to say “no” when that’s the better answer.
Being mindful about your commitments helps make room for what you really want
The process of “quitting” some things and only saying “yes” to meaningful new things has helped me feel less overstretched and opened up tremendous possibilities.
Specifically, making more room several years ago opened up the opportunity to deepen my commitment to the SDCBA and serve as the President in 2020. It also allowed me to say “yes” when I was asked in 2018 to serve our region on the Board of the San Diego County Regional Airport Authority Board and to become Chair in 2021.
If I hadn’t done the work to strategically and thoughtfully quit some of the other commitments on my plate earlier on, I wouldn’t have had the personal bandwidth to take on these incredibly rewarding experiences in our community.
So, I’ll end with these questions — have you made room in your life for an exciting new opportunity if one comes along? How will you think about whether and when to say yes to something new?
Johanna Schiavoni (johanna.schiavoni@calapplaw.com) is a certified specialist in appellate law, and her practice at California Appellate Law Group LLP focuses on civil appeals in state and federal courts. She has been the principal brief–writer in over 80 appeals and has argued more than 30 cases. She also was the 2020 President of the San Diego County Bar Association and is the 2021 Board Chair of the San Diego County Regional Airport Authority.