Honing Your Negotiation Skills to Become a Better Leader

On November 9, 2023, the San Diego County Bar Association hosted its final virtual Leadership Speaker Series for the year, titled, “The Art of Leading Through Negotiation — Developing and Utilizing Negotiation Skills to Become a Better Leader.” The program focused on how attorneys can maximize their negotiation skills in leadership positions.

Katharine Tremblay, Deputy Attorney General of the California Department of Justice, moderated the Leadership Speaker Series. The presentation featured three expert panelists, including Dave Carothers, Jodi Cleesattle, and Darwin Bustarde.

Dave is a mediator and arbitrator of ADR Services Inc. He worked as a trial attorney for over thirty years and successfully litigated close to one hundred jury trials to verdict. Jodi is a Senior Assistant Attorney General for the Tort & Condemnation Section of the California Department of Justice. Darwin is the 2023 President of the North County Bar Association. Darwin is also a partner of Branfman Mayfield Bustarde Reichenthal LLP.

When asked how to incorporate negotiation skills to become a better leader across various fields, Dave remarked that there are four key negotiation skills leaders need to sharpen:

First, he explained that instead of focusing on people’s positions, you should focus on their interests (see discussion below). Second, he empathized the importance of building trust with your team by encouraging two-way communication. Finally, he discussed coming up with your own voice, and having a vision that incorporates everyone’s point of view.

Dave illustrated what it means to focus on people’s interests with an example of a pumpkin. “You got a pumpkin on a table, and you got three people, and they want the pumpkin, and you’re trying to come up with a way to resolve how can all three people have this pumpkin. Now if you focus on their positions, which is basically ‘I want the pumpkin’ you’re really not going to get anywhere. But if you ask the additional question ‘why do you want the pumpkin?’ You find out one person wants the pumpkin because they are interested in just having the shell of the pumpkin to use for Halloween, the other person wants the seeds to use the seeds of the pumpkin, and the other person just wants the meat of the pumpkin so they can make pumpkin soup. So, once you know what their interests are, okay now it’s a manageable problem. We can work this out.”

When asked how she incorporates negotiation skills as a leader in the public sector, Jodi shared that she has frequent, open, and direct communication her team:

Jodi emphasized the value of creating an open forum to discuss with and receive feedback from her team. She has found that using zoom meetings to open a discussion with her team has allowed her to recreate the experience of walking into someone’s office to ask a question or running into someone in the kitchen in a non-remote setting.

Jodi also stressed the need to encourage your team to provide you with feedback. “You have to remind people all the time that you want feedback because nobody feels comfortable saying ‘I don’t like the way we’re doing this, can we try something different?’”

When asked how to approach leading a nonprofit organization like the North County Bar Association, Darwin explained the benefit of taking a collaborative approach rather than an authoritative one:

Darwin cautions attorneys in leadership roles at a nonprofit that people do not have to be there, but they want to be. “If you come in with an authoritative style of leadership where your just kind of delegating that is not going to be good in my opinion for a nonprofit organization where people are voluntarily joining this group for some very egalitarian, very community-oriented purpose. And so, the last thing someone who is devoting their time and not getting paid for it is going to want to hear is a President or some person or anybody telling them what to do that they don’t want to do.”

Katharine ended the presentation by asking the panelists the following: if you could give your younger self or greener self, one piece of advice regarding leadership and negotiation what would it be?

Jodi remarked that she would tell herself: “To go for it. […] We all have the tendency to feel like imposters and feel like we’re not ready.” She would tell her more junior self to step up sooner and have the confidence that she can contribute something.

Jodi mentioned that for most leadership roles in the SDCBA there is a leadership outreach committee that invites people to serve. She explained that it is important to invite people because a lot of times people won’t step up on their own or think of doing so.

Finally, Jodi would advise her younger self to talk to other people about how things work in an organization you’re interested in contributing to.

Dave shared that he wished he had read the book titled, Servant Leader early on in his career. Dave recognized that it is important to let your team see that you are willing to roll your sleeves up and join in with them to get a task accomplished.

To listen to past recordings of the SDCBA’s Leadership Speaker Series, click here.