Balancing Acts: Professionalism, Volunteerism, and Motherhood
In the world of women in law, successfully juggling competing priorities is a perpetual topic, akin to the pursuit of happiness. Like happiness, “balance” isn’t an innate state; it’s a destination created through daily deliberate actions that give you the space to do what you want to do while also doing what you need to do.
As a woman growing our firm’s West Coast Office and a wife and mom of active teenagers, I wish there was a magic wand I could wave to give me more time in the day. While I don’t purport to have any extra time, I have realized that I can, in fact, make it feel like I have enough time (on most days). Enough time to take my children to the beach, attend their award ceremonies and baseball games, volunteer for causes close to my heart, mentor other mama-lawyers, and maintain a thriving practice.
Claiming to have it all figured out would be preposterous; I don’t, and neither do most people I know. However, throughout my career, I’ve gained insights that make achieving elusive “balance” a bit more manageable. Essentially, I’ve determined that success in each role hinges on the ability to define it and align aspirations with my individual values and priorities.
Over the past five years, the number of women in law firms has increased. Newly released research from the National Association for Legal Placement (NALP)[1] indicates that the number of women associates in law firms is now 50% – a significant jump from 46% just five years ago in 2018. NALP research shows that women now comprise a total of 40% of all of attorneys in law firms, the largest number NALP has recorded in the more than three decades the organization has been tracking this data.
Despite the data showing an increase in women in the profession, the number of women in leadership positions remains fairly stagnant, a significant issue for our profession to address. Some law firms have encouraged women to stay on the leadership track while pursuing motherhood and have put initiatives in place to support their attorneys. However, this perspective is not universal. Thus, the importance of where you practice cannot be overstated. Throughout my career, I have been blessed to work at various firms that have a culture that understands, honors, and celebrates women have allowed me to give my best to my practice, my family, and my passions. I recognize that this is not revolutionary – but I believe investing time in organizations that are willing to invest in you as a person and not just a billable commodity, is truly what makes the difference for women lawyers.
The same applies to volunteering. From assuming leadership in your local bar association to leading a Girl Scout troop, devote your volunteer hours to the organizations that understand and honor your other commitments, with a mission that resonates most with you. Time, your most precious commodity, should be invested solely in pursuits aligned with your goals, which will give you the space pursue what matters most to you.
With so many competing priorities, when it comes to balance, perhaps the most fundamental lesson I have learned is to do my best to be present in whatever role I am fulfilling at any given moment. My children take precedence over all other obligations. My job first and foremost is to be the best mother that I can be, and when I am with my children, I do everything in my power to ensure that the moment is theirs and only theirs (yes, this means silencing my smartphone).
Research on Big Law firm attorneys[2] shows that only 58% of women lawyers would recommend a career in law to their daughters. I strive to model for both my daughter and son how rewarding a career in law can be – and that it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice other life priorities.
When I am with my family, I try to avoid focusing on the demands and pressures of what awaits me in my practice. I’ve realized the stress of the moment will come whether you focus on it beforehand or not, and whether you are in a courtroom, boardroom, or at home, you can only be present in one place at a time.
Not every parent, lawyer, or volunteer leader faces the same time demands, and there is no universal formula for success. However, I have found that owning my time, goals, and priorities, being present in the moment, and finding a firm that supports you in all roles and career stages, has been vital to finding the elusive balance we all seek.
[1] https://www.nalp.org/uploads/Research/2023NALPReportonDiversityFinal.pdf
[2] https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/only-58-of-female-lawyers-in-biglaw-would-recommend-legal-careers-for-their-daughters