By Megan M. Moore
Last March, when we began sheltering in place, I considered how stepping six feet back not from others but from myself could be a useful mindfulness practice. Mentally stepping six feet back can help us remain accountable while letting go of the judgment we may hold about ourselves and others as we make our way through stressful work situations.
Attorneys often have limited time to complete projects, which creates stress throughout the workday and sometimes late into the night. Perhaps we have multiple external deadlines. Perhaps we do not timely get the work we need from our colleagues. Perhaps we feel we work better under the pressure of procrastination. Whatever the reason, we often add stress to the situation by permitting our inner voice to cast blame, self-doubt, and anger at the situation.
We all have some version of this voice. It tell us what we already believe: “You are not good enough. You never complete things on time. You have blown it (again). “
I suggest that, rather than convincing ourselves of our own failure, we use that voice to find an opportunity for mindfulness and potentially for growth. When we hear it, do not agree with it. Instead, step six feet back.
When we take a mental step back, we can move away from the blame, self-doubt, and anger to take a look at the voice. We can get curious about what it’s really doing up there talking to you like that. And we can start to ask ourselves questions without judgment:
- Why is important to me to complete this project?
- What have I done well to get me this far?
- What resources do I have to get this done?
- What else do I need?
- What would if I do differently if the voice did not exist?
Sometimes when I ask these questions, my version of the voice dies down and I see a clear vision and purpose for what I want and why I want it. Then I can think about how I will get it done, even if that includes working long hours to accomplish my outcome. In any scenario, stepping back forces me to shift my perspective from agreeing with that voice to considering that something else may be at play.
I am not always successful at stepping six feet back – sometimes I leave feeling the same way I felt when I started – stuck in my head, stressed out, and worried I cannot do the thing. Yet, when I manage to stop listening to the voice and instead look at myself, I can usually get the negative noise to die down. This moment of mindfulness feels freeing, taking a step away from the voice and moving forward to complete the project at hand, knowing why I am doing it and what resources I have or need to get it done.
When you feel the anxiety of lost time or believe that you have blown it, remember the admonition and step six feet back so you can then step forward.
Megan Moore is an executive coach, educator, and attorney. She uses the power of the right question to support clients in achieving significant shifts and pivots in their careers. Megan enjoys her membership with the SDCBA because she gets to witness the amazing work San Diego attorneys are doing in and for their community.