By Gayani Weerasinghe
Following the mass protests over the summer, we are given another chance to examine our blind spots about diversity and inclusion. Whether those are conscious or unconscious biases, we owe it to each other to lean into the discomfort and have these discussions. This article is not about blaming or shaming anyone, but rather a chance to change how we show up at our workplaces, boardrooms, and networking circles, and make meaningful changes. As a zealous advocate of mindfulness and self-awareness, I invite you to keep an open mind and reexamine rules that are enforcing white cultural norms instead of recognizing the advantages of embracing the multicultural environment we inhabit.
In the July/August issue of San Diego Lawyer, “Roxy is Black” detailed the racist acts experienced by Roxy Carter, an SDCBA Board member and a fellow attorney of color. She explained how she has learned to self-censor sharing these traumatic experiences because of how others behaved when she tried sharing it with her colleagues. Unfortunately, this is not a rare case; as a woman of color, a dark-skinned South Asian, I have also experienced some of these moments, and I too have had colleagues change the subject rather than listen to my experience. My intention for this article is to invite you to an exercise in self-awareness. The next time a colleague is sharing an experience, if you have the urge to change the subject, pause for a second, take a deep breath, and ask yourself why is it that you are doing it? Why are you uncomfortable listening to the experience? What message are you sending by changing the topic?
I have found even the simplest phrase, “let’s not get political or talk politics,” has a chilling effect. A recent Executive Order by the White House promotes a set of rules that say training on race and gender is divisive and un-American. While you may debate whether this is the effect of the order or if we are in a post-racial era, these awareness trainings, including training on why the use of a “colorblind” narrative is troublesome, are important in advancing diversity and inclusion. Preventing such discussions whitewashes everyday experiences of Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) as well as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning and/or queer (LGBTQ+) communities, and maintains the status quo. Inherent to this debate of whether to discuss the Trump Administration’s actions or their effect is also a privilege that not all of us have because for many of us, there are some direct personal impacts. Pretending the problem doesn’t exist does not cause the problem to go away.
It is important to be open to these discussions and expand your understanding of the world to include experiences beyond your own. Otherwise, you are forcing your colleagues to self-censor and suffer in silence. For example, if you had to show up to work the day after the Grand Jury examining the death of Breonna Taylor decided not to indict the officers who shot her multiple times and someone says, “Let’s not talk politics,” it promotes self-censoring. You don’t need to be BIPOC to experience the outrage felt by many about Breonna Taylor’s death, George Floyd’s death, or any number of Black people who have died at the hands of law enforcement. However, speaking with Black friends and colleagues has made me realize that feeling like the police do not value their lives is their American reality. By stepping into a BIPOC colleague’s shoes for a moment and listening to their experience, I realize that the anger, the fear, the outrage, and the frustration is part of their personal experience and one that is felt by the people they love. I invite you to do the same. In those shoes, you might realize how left out they might feel when they show up to work and have to pretend to be in a different reality because speaking about their reality is not only unwelcome, but is perceived as unprofessional. Having that discussion and hearing the perspectives of colleagues is how we can recognize the depth of the problems we face and ways to improve. Make diversity and inclusion mean more than a statistical goal.
I invite you not to ask your diverse colleagues for conformity, but lean in and listen to their experiences even though it might be outside of your comfort zone. Ask them meaningful questions, because as Maya Angelou said, “in diversity, there is beauty and there is strength.”
Gayani Weerasinghe (gayani@lawgrw.com) is an Intellectual Property & Business Law Attorney for the Law Offices of Gayani R. Weerasinghe, helping small businesses and entrepreneurs with their legal needs. She is also the host of the YouTube channel Inventive Mind.